Saturday, September 25, 2010
So I was prego and now I not. Many emotions running through me today. Don't realize how much you want to something until it is gone. Had many many bad response to the news that I was pregnant. I don't care. Think what you want, judge as you wish. I can and will take care of myself. Now no one has to worry. Someone's prayers were answered. Not mine. I love being a mom and looked forward to a new child joining our family. Wasn't planned but was welcomed. Don't want sympathy from anyone but my husband. (Not writing this for anyone to feel sorry for me). Just want to write how I feel. So one day when I am big and pregnant with my 4th child I can look back and feel good about things cuz right now that is defiantly not the case.
Monday, September 13, 2010
K so I used to make fun of people behind there backs when the told me they cried when their oldest child went to Kindergarten. I remember clearly thinking "I can't wait! I will be so thrilled!"
It all started when I went to her orientation on Friday. They are telling us all the stuff these little 5 year olds are in charge of and all I could think of is "Is Brooklyn ready for all of this? Am I ready for all of this?"
So the night before she went to school her dad gave her a wonderful blessing- which talked about that she would be a strong little girl, make good friends, and come to her Heavenly Father any time she need help. Can I just say what a blessing it is to have the priesthood in our home. Can I just say I was in the worst mood that whole night which totally put a damper on everyone else's mood.
Well the next morning Brooklyn was wide awake at 7 am, so excited!! Me not so much! Her dad and I took her to school, walked her into her classroom and got her all set. I kept saying "OK Brooklyn, OK Brooklyn, OK Brooklyn." Andrew finally gave me the look and I knew it was time to go.
I admit, I cried all the way out to the car! I realize that my little girl is growing up. I am not going to be there to make sure people are nice to her, that she makes good friends that will be a good influence on her. I don't want her to make the same mistakes I made! I want her to be smart about her choices in life and realize that effect each of these choices will have on her life. And it all starts here!
But I guess I have to have FAITH in my little girl and in my Heavenly Father. I just do all I can on my side and he will do the rest! RIGHT!! RIGHT!!!