Sunday, August 10, 2008

Feelings GOOD or BAD?

So Friday I went to my latest doctors appointment and got to hear a faint heart beat of the latest Mortensen. Although this pregnacy has been hard for me especially not planning for it and going through post partum (SPELLING?) and still going through it with Baylee, I have not been the most excited parent to have another child, which I feel so bad about because there are those who can't have children and I never thought I would ever feel any form of regret for one of my children but I find that is what I am feeling. Although I know that it will go away and that I feeling regret only for selfish reasons. I still find it hard. Though hearing the little heartbeat made things feel a little more real. And I hope with time that this will feeling will be a thing of the past and all I will feel is joy. My aunt Amy said that happened for a reason and I may not know it now but one day I will. I just wish I knew it now!! PATIENCE I know!


  1. Hey Courtney. We've missed you guys! I just want to give you encouragement. Post pardum is HARD and it affects WAY too many things in a mommy's life. It's okay to feel overwhelmed and/or frustrated/upset even complacent. You can't put much weight on your feelings/emotions when you are battling depression. You are a WONDERFUL mother, your children are very lucky to have you. And, your new little baby, while the timing is awfully rough, probably just couldn't wait to be a part of your incredible family. We love you guys.

  2. Oh, and since I didn't already leave you a long enough novel, give me a call. I am in need of some scentsy stuff. (I'd even be willing to host a little "get together/girls night)

  3. Courtney, I am sorry you are having to go through this. I went through a VERY similar experience 2 years ago, finding out I was pregnant again while battling post partum after having my then 5 month old. It's tough, but in a few months, you'll look forward to knowing your new little one and to their arrival. Heavenly Father has given you a wonderful opportunity to be blessed with kids so close in age- something I need to be reminded is a blessing sometimes.
    I wish i could give you the comfort I felt, but it takes time. As frusrating as it may be now, be patient. I love and will pray for you guys!