Sunday, August 10, 2008
Feelings GOOD or BAD?
So Friday I went to my latest doctors appointment and got to hear a faint heart beat of the latest Mortensen. Although this pregnacy has been hard for me especially not planning for it and going through post partum (SPELLING?) and still going through it with Baylee, I have not been the most excited parent to have another child, which I feel so bad about because there are those who can't have children and I never thought I would ever feel any form of regret for one of my children but I find that is what I am feeling. Although I know that it will go away and that I feeling regret only for selfish reasons. I still find it hard. Though hearing the little heartbeat made things feel a little more real. And I hope with time that this will feeling will be a thing of the past and all I will feel is joy. My aunt Amy said that happened for a reason and I may not know it now but one day I will. I just wish I knew it now!! PATIENCE I know!